18 punishments for people who dont update their calendars

18 punishments for people who dont update their calendars18 punishments for people who dont update their calendarsCongratulations You found that one-hour block in the next two weeks when everyones calendar is open. You send the meeting invite only to have Ben decline.Im actually out of the office that day, he says. Could you find another time?But Ben, you wonder, how will I find another time if your calendar bears no relation to your actual availability? Here are some appropriate ways to punish Ben and colleagues like him who dont keep their calendar up to date.1. Removal from the office food email listAre there leftover bagels from the Accounting staff meeting? Yes, but Ben will never know.2. Switch the regular and decaf coffee potsEveryone else reaches for the orange pot this week while Ben yawns his way through his caffeine headaches.3. Adjust Bens calendar from Eastern Standard to Yakutsk TimeHell arrive promptly to any meetings in central Russia4. Switch to past tense whenever d iscussing him, especially if hes in earshotOh yeah, Ben, he worked in Marketing didnt he? Never really saw him in the office much though.5. Change the language for his keyboardSwitching toFrenchis classic, but the Turkish keyboard is just similar enough to confuse him for days.6. Move Bens desk photos to other areas of the officeHis wifes portrait now lives on the CEOs desk and his snapshot of Sir-Barks-A-Lot is above the copier. Itll be a great icebreaker at the holiday party7. Sign Ben up for every newsletter you can findHell get updates on everything from the local bakerys daily scone selection to the tour dates of a hard core punker band hes never heard of.8. Invite him to a conference call thats just hold musicIdeally it will be Chumbawambas Tubthumping on loop.9. Add new family photos to his deskWhat do you mean these arent your kids? Youve been talking about Kimmys game-winning home run all month10. Unscrew the light above his cubicle just a littleBen will have to check the F acilities Teams calendar to see when theyre available to stop the flickering.11. Host remote control helicopter races around his cubicleIt just happens to be the area with the most open air. Management did say they wanted you to embrace your creativity12. Re-label his lunch in the office fridgeNo, this isnt Bens Low-fat Mango Greek yogurt. Its Benitas.13. Hold his coffee mug hostageSend ransom notes scrawled on printouts of Bens Outlook calendar.14. Add spoilers for his favorite TV shows to your meeting invitationsLocation Conference Room also Tyrion Lannister dies by ice dragon15. Start a rumor that his cubicle is hauntedFollow up by shivering every time you walk by and asking about the old woman who works on his computer during his lunch breaks. Bonus points if you leave messages from her on his voicemail.16. Relegation to the worst seat in the conference roomYou know the one, where you cant pull your chair in all the way and have to crane your neck to see thepresentation slides. Make sure its the only open seat when Ben walks in.17. Respond to all his emails with New phone, who dis?At a certain point hell have to respect your commitment to the bit.18. Everyone meets without himNo matter what his ego says, Ben isnt that important.This post was originally published on TheCooperReview.com.